Isabelle is Gone

TUESDAY
4-15-2014


After a night of sleeplessness, waking up every 30 minutes to let Isabelle out front or out back I get up and wait for the Vet's office to open at 8AM so I can call.

Isabelle has been vomiting all night. She has been crying all night. She has abandoned even trying to get up stairs because her back end just won't work anymore. In between crying, she is panting.

Our Vet, Dr Mike warned us about this over a year ago when we chose to put her on pain medication. He indicated that the pain medication would eventually destroy her kidneys.

And the time has come. Isabelle is in renal failure. I don't want her to suffer any more. She has gone thru a lot.

So when I called and talked with Maggie at the vet's office, she told me to come in immediately.

The other dogs gather around us before we leave. They think momma is going for a ride & won't take them.

I tell Isabelle we are going for a drive in the car. She won't load from the side of the FMF. I open the rear tailgate and load her in that way. She is SO heavy. Dead weight because she cannot use her rear legs for support.

I drive as slowly as possible so she can hang her head out this last time on a cold & dreary Spring day.

                               

Pics of Isabelle on the ride to the Vet's office.

It hasn't hit me yet.

We take a walk around the grass at the office so we don't have to go inside yet.

When we get inside, we get a weight on her. 142.

We are led to the back room. Harriet was done in the other room. Now, both rooms are cursed for me.

The paperwork is taken care of while Isabelle is taken into the back area to install a catheter. She refuses to go thru the exam room, so I lead her into the back by the other door.

I contacted hubby and put him on speakerphone so that he can be there with us while she passes.

Dr Mike and his assistant (WHY can I never remember her name?) are with me. We get Isabelle to kinda lay down on the hard floor. They have put a blanket on the floor. I should have remembered to bring a blanket! Damn.

I put her head in my lap and Dr Mike injects the solution. She settles and her whole body goes limp. Hubby is talking on the speakerphone. I am talking to her. The Vet tells her she is a good dog.

Then Dr Mike listens for a heartbeat. He announces it. She is gone. It is 8:30AM.

Isabelle is 10 years old.

Dr Mike picks up my phone and tells hubby that Isabelle is gone. He hangs up the phone.

I sit for a minute longer, still petting her precious head. She is still warm. I avoid her nose because she would have hated that. I am crying.

I finally leave the room and can barely walk out to the reception area. Collapsing onto the bench, I cry some more. I am shaking.

Then I go out to the FMF. I go home alone.

The Vet is using their own service to cremate her. I will get her ashes back.

When I get home, I text KRN. We talk about Isabelle. She was a great dog. I called hubby and we talked about her. Then I am exhausted and in shock.

I make eggs for the dogs. They are happy that mommy made them breakfast.

I took a nap from 11:00-12:00. When I wake up, I am still exhausted.

All the dogs come down with me to the mailbox. I put leashes on Ben & Lil Bit. Bud & Maggie run off into the woods to sniff for deer. Lil Bit has to pee on EVERYTHING.

At the house, I put the dogs inside. I go out and put more feed out for the deer.

I come inside and make a pizza for the dogs.

Later, I am so bored and text hubby for a while. He calls and says that he is heading back to Idaho. He left Dave 2.0 in Vegas with his Mustang. I tell him to drive carefully.

I finally go to bed at 10:00PM.

Isabelle. 10 Years ago.

You were a GREAT dog, Isabelle. And you had a loving, full life. I will miss you forever.